DIFFERENT VERSION..... HAVE A LAUGH!!!!!
TO ALL FOLKS WHO WERE BORN IN THE
1950's, 60' s, 70's and early 80's !!
First, some of us s urvived being born to mothers who did not have an OB-Gyne and drank San Miguel Beer while they carried us.
While pregnant, they took cold or cough medicine, a te Linunod, balikutsa, bukhayo and didn't worry about diabetes.
Then after all that trauma, our baby cribs were made of hard wood covered with lead-based paints, ang uban kay duyan nga habol gihigtan ug pisi nga inigtabyog ug kusog ma pakong intawon ta sa bongbong.
We had no soft cushy cribs that play music, no disposable diapers (lampin lang sa General Milling nga naa'y faded picture nga nag-salute), and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads, wala pa gyu'y break ang bisikleta.
As children, we would ride in hot un-airconditioned buses with wooden seats (Bisaya Bus nga pultahan puros ang kilid, Corominas Bus nga senimana ang brake), or cars with no airconditioning & no seat belts (karon kay Minibus na nga nindot kaayo ug sounds or Ceres Bus nga bugnaw ug aircon)
Riding on the back of a carabao on a breezy summer day was considered a treat. (karon; ang mga bata wala na kaila ug Kabaw)
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT bottled mineral water sa Nature Spring or Viva, or Absolute Mineral water (usahay gani, straight from the faucet or poso or Tabay!)
We shared one soft drink bottle with four of our friends, and NO ONE actually died from this. Or contacted hepatitis.
We ate rice with star margarine, bahaw nga gibutangan ug asin ug mantika sa baboy, drank raw eggs straight from the shell, and drank sofdrinks with real sugar in it (dili diet coke or Pepsi Max), but we weren't sick or overweight kay......
WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, and get back when the streetlights came on. Syatong, Bato-Lata, Bagol, Dakop-Dakop, Tago-Tago, Ngita'g Kaka.
No one was able to reach us all day ( wala pa'y uso ang cellphone) . And yes, we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our wooden trolleys (katong bearing ang ligid) or Karitong Kawayan nga karaang tsinilas ang giporma nga ligid and then ride down the street , wala ma'y gidungog nga naligsan atoh! After hitting the sidewalk or falling into a canal (sewage channel) a few times, we learned to solve the problem ourselves with our bare & dirty hands .
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 100 channels on cable, no DVD movies, no surround stereo, no IPOD's, no cell phones, no computers, no Internet, no chat rooms, and no Friendsters. ........ ...WE HAD REAL FRIENDS and we went outside to actually talk and play with them!
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no stupid lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words..sakit bai ? pero kung kontra gani nimo ang imong kadula,,,,singgitan lang dayon ug..Mayra,Gabaan!
We played marbles (jolen) in the dirt , washed our hands just a little and ate Pan Bahug-bahug & Bagumbayan (recycled bread man diay to kay wala mahalin!) We were not afraid of getting germs in our stomachs.
We had to live with homemade guns (giporma nga kahoy, gihigtan ug garter ug lastiko) , saplong , tirador ug uban pa nga pwedeng magkasakitay. Pero lingaw gihapon kaayo ang tanan.
We made up games with sticks ( syatong ), and cans ( Bato-Lata )and although we were told they were dangerous, wala man gyud to'y actual nga nabuta bah, bukol lang nuon sa agtang naa.
We walked, rode bikes, or took tricycles to a friend's house and knocked on the door or batoon ug gagmay nga bato ang bungbong, or just yelled for them to jump out the window!
Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't pass had to learn to deal with the disappointment. Wala pa nang mga childhood depression ug damaged self esteem ek-ek ra na. Ang maglagot, pildi.
Ang mga Ginikanan naa ra sa daplin para motan-aw ra sa duwa sa mga bata, dili para manghilabot ug makig-away sa ubang parents.
That generation of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers, creative thinkers and successful professionals ever! They are the CEO's, Engineers, Doctors and Military Generals of today.
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had failure, success, and responsibility. We learned from our mistakes the hard way.
You might want to share this with others who've had the luck to grow up as real kids. We were lucky indeed.
And if you like, forward it to your kids too, so they will know how brave their parents were.
It kind of makes you wanna go out and climb a tree, doesn't it?!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
The Priest who could not lie
Try not to lie, but if you do, do it as well as the priest.".... ......
A distinguished looking young lady is on a flight returning from Switzerland. She finds herself seated next to a priest and asks "Excuse me father, may I ask a favor of you?" "Well of course Miss, what can I do for you?" he replies. "Here's the dilemma, I purchased for myself, a superbly sophisticated electronic hair remover. I paid a lot of money for it. I really went well over the limits set forth by Customs, and I fear they will confiscate it from me. Could you perhaps secret it through Customs for me under your robes?" "I certainly could my dear, only I must warn you I really am not ever able to lie..." "You have such an honest face father, surely they will never ask any questions of you," and with that she hands him the hair remover.
After landing they proceed through Customs and it becomes the father's turn in line. "Father, do you have anything to declare?" asks the Custom's officer. "From the top of my head to my waist I have nothing to declare my son. "Finding this answer a little strange the custom's officer proceeds to ask, "And from the waist to the floor, what do you have to declare?" The father replies, "I have a marvelous little instrument destined to be used on a woman, but which has never yet been used..." Roaring with laughter the Custom's officer says, "Go right through father.
A distinguished looking young lady is on a flight returning from Switzerland. She finds herself seated next to a priest and asks "Excuse me father, may I ask a favor of you?" "Well of course Miss, what can I do for you?" he replies. "Here's the dilemma, I purchased for myself, a superbly sophisticated electronic hair remover. I paid a lot of money for it. I really went well over the limits set forth by Customs, and I fear they will confiscate it from me. Could you perhaps secret it through Customs for me under your robes?" "I certainly could my dear, only I must warn you I really am not ever able to lie..." "You have such an honest face father, surely they will never ask any questions of you," and with that she hands him the hair remover.
After landing they proceed through Customs and it becomes the father's turn in line. "Father, do you have anything to declare?" asks the Custom's officer. "From the top of my head to my waist I have nothing to declare my son. "Finding this answer a little strange the custom's officer proceeds to ask, "And from the waist to the floor, what do you have to declare?" The father replies, "I have a marvelous little instrument destined to be used on a woman, but which has never yet been used..." Roaring with laughter the Custom's officer says, "Go right through father.
Natuklasan na ang mansanas na kinain ni Eva!
Pagkatapos ng isang bilyong taon... Nahanap din ang mansanas na kinain ni Eba na naging sanhi ng pagkakaalis nila sa paraiso...
Kayo na lang ang humusga kung bakit niya ito nagustuhan...
Kayo na lang ang humusga kung bakit niya ito nagustuhan...
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Free mammogram
This man is offering a free mammogram.
Those women who can't afford to have a mammogram.
This is an opportunity.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND
He almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side
of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could
see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her
Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering
when he approached her.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No
one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he
going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor
and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out
there in the cold. He knew how she felt.. It was that
chill which only fear can put in you.
He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you
wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name
is Bryan Anderson."
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady,
that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car
looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his
knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change
the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down
the window and began to talk to him. She told him
that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing
through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming
to her aid.
Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady
asked how much she owed him. Any amount would
have been all right with her. She already imagined all
the awful things that could have happened had he not
stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid.
This was not a job to him. This was helping someone
in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had
given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole
life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any
other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back,
the next time she saw someone who needed help, she
could give that person the assistance they needed,
and Bryan added, "And think of me."
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It
had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good
as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.
A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe.
She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off
before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a
dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas
pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The
waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe
her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even
being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase The
lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months
pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches
change her attitude. The old lady wondered how
someone who had so little could be so giving to a
stranger. Then she remembered Bryan .
After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a
hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get
change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady
had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the
time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered
where the lady could be. Then she noticed something
written on the napkin.
There were tears in her eyes when she read what the
lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been
there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm
helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is
what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with
you."
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill,
and people to serve, but the waitress made it through
another day. That night when she got home from work
and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the
money and what the lady had written. How could the
lady have known how much she and her husband
needed it? With the baby due next month, it was
going to be hard....
She knew how worried her husband was, and as he
lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and
whispered soft and low, "Everything's going to be all
right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."
There is an old saying
"What goes around comes around."
of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could
see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her
Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering
when he approached her.
Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No
one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he
going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor
and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out
there in the cold. He knew how she felt.. It was that
chill which only fear can put in you.
He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you
wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name
is Bryan Anderson."
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady,
that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car
looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his
knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change
the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.
As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down
the window and began to talk to him. She told him
that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing
through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming
to her aid.
Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady
asked how much she owed him. Any amount would
have been all right with her. She already imagined all
the awful things that could have happened had he not
stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid.
This was not a job to him. This was helping someone
in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had
given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole
life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any
other way.
He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back,
the next time she saw someone who needed help, she
could give that person the assistance they needed,
and Bryan added, "And think of me."
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It
had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good
as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.
A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe.
She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off
before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a
dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas
pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The
waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe
her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even
being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase The
lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months
pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches
change her attitude. The old lady wondered how
someone who had so little could be so giving to a
stranger. Then she remembered Bryan .
After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a
hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get
change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady
had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the
time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered
where the lady could be. Then she noticed something
written on the napkin.
There were tears in her eyes when she read what the
lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been
there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm
helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is
what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with
you."
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill,
and people to serve, but the waitress made it through
another day. That night when she got home from work
and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the
money and what the lady had written. How could the
lady have known how much she and her husband
needed it? With the baby due next month, it was
going to be hard....
She knew how worried her husband was, and as he
lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and
whispered soft and low, "Everything's going to be all
right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."
There is an old saying
"What goes around comes around."
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
320 lbs. woman... Wow!!!
The question is, What does a 320 pound woman look like?
Now, before you look at her pictures, get a mental image of what you think a woman who weighs 320 looks like....
Got it?
Ready?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Not what you were expecting, was it??!!
The tallest and biggest woman in the world lives in Holland.
She is 7'4" and weighs 320
What a relief!! Now we ALL know we aren't overweight, ..........just too short!
Now, before you look at her pictures, get a mental image of what you think a woman who weighs 320 looks like....
Got it?
Ready?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
Not what you were expecting, was it??!!
The tallest and biggest woman in the world lives in Holland.
She is 7'4" and weighs 320
What a relief!! Now we ALL know we aren't overweight, ..........just too short!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
US President Obama's Car
THIS PRESIDENT IS MORE
IMPORTANT THAN ANYBODY
IN THE PAST.
The Obamamobile: New presidential limo is unveiled - and it can withstand rocket and chemical attacks
It's official call sign is Cadillac One, but it will always be known as the Obamobile
But his Secret Service agents have already been familiarising themselves with the machine they call 'The Beast', built by General Motors in Detroit and based on a Cadillac chassis. The company refuses to give precise details of how it will perform its primary purpose - protecting the president. But bulletproof glass and armourplatingare standard throughout and the car is hermetically-sealed to withstand chemical weapons. As with previous presidential limos it is packed with electronic communication systems to allow Mr Obama to keep in contact with the outside world. One personal touch will be the remote-controlled ten-CD changer on which he can play his favourite artists, said to include Stevie Wonder and Bob Dylan. Despite the protection afforded by Cadillac One, the Secret Service will be taking no chances when Mr Obama is sworn in as the 44th president. A three-mile security perimeter will be thrown around the U.S. Capital, with no vehicles allowed inside, to prevent a car bomb attack.
The Beast: Cadillac One, Barack Obama's new presidential limo - also known as the
Obamamobile
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
